Women's health concerns are too often dismissed, minimized, or attributed to stress. You deserve to be heard, to have your symptoms investigated properly, and to receive evidence-based treatment. These scripts and strategies will help you advocate effectively in medical settings.
Women wait an average of 7-10 years for an endometriosis diagnosis, often seeing multiple doctors who dismiss their pain.
Women are less likely than men to receive pain medication and more likely to have symptoms attributed to mental health.
PCOS takes an average of 2+ years and 3+ doctors to diagnose despite affecting 1 in 10 women.
If you've been told your symptoms are 'normal' or 'just stress' despite significant impact on your life, that's dismissal.
If you've been made to feel like you're overreacting to severe pain, that's inadequate care.
You deserve better, and these tools will help you get it.
Clear communication about symptom impact increases the likelihood of appropriate testing.
Prepared, specific questions help providers understand what you need and make it harder to dismiss your concerns.
Knowing when to seek a second opinion can be the difference between suffering and proper treatment.
These are warning signs that your concerns aren't being taken seriously. If you encounter these, it's time to advocate more strongly or find a new provider.
Your symptoms are dismissed without examination or testing
Why this matters: Physical examination and appropriate testing are standard of care for new or changing symptoms
You're told it's 'all in your head' or 'just anxiety'
Why this matters: While mental health can affect physical symptoms, physical causes must be ruled out first
Your pain is normalized or minimized
Why this matters: Severe pain that disrupts daily life is never 'normal' and deserves investigation
Provider refuses to order requested tests without explanation
Why this matters: You deserve to understand why tests aren't being ordered if symptoms suggest they might be helpful
You're made to feel like you're overreacting or being difficult
Why this matters: Advocating for your health is not being difficult—it's being responsible
Birth control is the only solution offered without discussing alternatives
Why this matters: While hormonal contraception can help many conditions, it's not always appropriate and alternatives exist
Copy these word-for-word or adapt them to your situation. The goal is to be clear, specific, and persistent without being confrontational. You're asking for standard care, not special treatment.
What to say:
I understand that stress can affect health, but I've been experiencing [specific symptoms] for [duration], and they're significantly impacting my quality of life. I'd like to rule out hormonal conditions like PCOS, thyroid dysfunction, or perimenopause. Can we discuss testing options and potential treatments?
Follow-up question:
If these symptoms persist despite stress management, what would be the next step in our diagnostic process?
What to say:
I appreciate that my results fall within the reference range, but I'm still experiencing debilitating symptoms. Can we discuss where I fall within that range? Sometimes 'normal' doesn't mean 'optimal.' I'd also like to know what other conditions could cause these symptoms if it's not [condition discussed].
Follow-up question:
Would it be helpful to retest at a different point in my cycle, or are there other tests we should consider?
What to say:
I understand perimenopause typically begins in the mid-40s, but it can start in the late 30s or early 40s for some women. I'm experiencing [list symptoms: irregular cycles, hot flashes, mood changes, sleep problems]. I'd like to rule out premature ovarian insufficiency and discuss whether early perimenopause could explain my symptoms.
Follow-up question:
If it's not perimenopause, what other hormonal conditions could cause this constellation of symptoms?
What to say:
I've been told this is normal period pain, but it's preventing me from working/functioning for [X days per month]. Pain that interferes with daily life isn't normal. I'd like to be evaluated for endometriosis, adenomyosis, or fibroids. What diagnostic steps can we take?
Follow-up question:
If imaging doesn't show anything, would a referral to a gynecologist or pain specialist be appropriate?
What to say:
Based on my symptoms of [list symptoms], I've read that testing for [specific tests: thyroid panel, PCOS markers, hormone levels] could be helpful. Can we discuss whether these tests would be appropriate for my situation?
Follow-up question:
If you don't think these tests are necessary, can you explain what you're looking for instead?
What to say:
I appreciate your input, but I'd like to get a second opinion about my symptoms. Could you provide my medical records and test results so I can share them with another provider? I'm looking for [specialist type: reproductive endocrinologist, menopause specialist, etc.].
Follow-up question:
Can you recommend someone, or should I find a specialist on my own?
What to say:
I understand weight can affect hormonal health, but I'd like to rule out conditions that could be causing both weight gain and my other symptoms. PCOS, thyroid problems, and insulin resistance can make weight loss difficult. Can we test for these conditions first?
Follow-up question:
If I do have an underlying condition, treating it should make weight management more effective, correct?
What to say:
I'd like to discuss treatment options for my symptoms rather than just monitoring them. My symptoms are affecting my [work, relationships, mental health, daily functioning]. What are the options—both hormonal and non-hormonal—for managing [specific symptoms]?
Follow-up question:
What are the potential benefits and risks of each option for someone with my medical history?
Preparation increases your chances of being heard and getting appropriate care. Here's what to do before, during, and after your medical appointments.